14 February 2004

Taking the romance out of Valentine's day

Why do fools fall in love? According to a professor at the University of Dundee we are all just idiots responding to our genes. And, we thrive on stormy relationships and obstacles to romance because our genes programme us to do so. Professor Trevor Harley will offer these views in the Financial Times on Saturday 14 February.

Professor Trevor Harley, Head of the Psychology department will say that we are not masters of our emotions, but servants of our brains. He says: "We fall in love because of sex. We need to reproduce, and nature has given us a drive to find the best sexual partner possible.

He also recommends that people take a good look at their partner over dinner on Valentines day because the way they look is one of the primary reasons for choosing our partners. "We tend to end up with people of similar attractiveness to ourselves. There is even some tendency for us to be attracted to people who look like us * we are all narcissists at heart."

Professor Harley also gives an explanation of why romantic love can often be stormy. He says: "One component of emotion is the way in which we view arousal * feelings and sex drive. This means that a complex set system of beliefs and expectations become involved, lending a cultural component to the course of true love. This is why passion thrives on obstacles." And why we have so many expectations of our romantic partners. Happy Valentines day!

Financial Times 14.02.04

"I saw a giant of a man brought down to his knees by love" sang Johnny Cash. On my iPod (which I love nearly as much as my wife), I have 5000 songs, and nearly 600 of them have the word "love" in the title. And that is before we get onto jealousy, you belong to me, my eyes adore you, and I need you. We are obsessed by love.

My dictionary helpfully defines love as an "affection of mind that causes delight", although sometimes "affliction" might be a more appropriate word. We can distinguish three types of love, whose names are self-explanatory: familial love, companionate love and romantic love. It is of course romantic love that troubles us most. My dictionary goes on to mention "sexual attachment". And there, I am afraid, sordid though it is, lies the heart of the matter. We fall in romantic love because of sex. We need to reproduce, and nature has given us a drive to find the best sexual partner possible.

But what is "best"? Experimental studies have provided numerous insights. People are usually attracted to others of their own age, and who are seen as available. And although (unfair though it is) people vary in attractiveness, we tend to end up with people of similar attractiveness to ourselves. There is even some tendency for us to be attracted to people who look like us. (We are all narcissists at heart.)

Love is an emotion, and there are important structures in the brain dedicated to emotional processing. The front parts of the brain and a structure called the limbic system are especially involved. Damage to these structures can make people emotionally unresponsive. One of the "side effects" of lobotomy - a drastic treatment for severe schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder - was that the patients became withdrawn and lacking in emotional responsiveness. They could not any more, as we understand it, fall in love. Damage to a small, almond-shaped structure called the amygdala leads to even more specific impairments whereby animals (including humans) become indiscriminate and fearless in their responses. With modern brain-imaging techniques we can actually see which parts of the brain are involved when we are in love.

Psychologists believe that emotions - including love - have two components. First, there is a state of physiological arousal - and in the case of romantic love the obvious source of arousal is normally the sex drive. The other component of an emotion is the way in which we view this arousal. This component means that a complex system of beliefs and expectations become involved, lending a cultural component to the course of true love. This is, for example, ultimately why passion thrives on obstacles.

So sadly, the stuff of pop songs and poetry reduces to a drive to reproduce, and to brain structures that provide emotional meaning to our experiences to ensure that we follow that drive. Hence we are not masters of our emotions, but servants of our brains. We are idiots responding to our genes. That is why only fools fall in love. And if you want to find another fool, find someone as foolish as you.

By Jenny Marra, Head of Press 01382 344910, out of hours: 07968298585, j.m.marra@dundee.ac.uk